So close and yet so far

Ndad's wife and I went up to Loveland (near Ft Collins) last weekend with Caitlin and her friend Jasmin. We were talking so much we missed the turn and ended up in Wyoming. After shopping etc we did the drive by of my nmother's house. It looked just like it did on google earth. She was home, cars there and curtains drawn. So close. I didnt expect to see her, had hopes to of course. I made light of it all but it hurt bad. She doesnt know I have moved here. I wish she did and I wish she wanted to get to know me. Today was my oldest girl's bday. It hurts to be so far from her (she chose to stay in Hawaii). I feel like I am an abandoner.