Family Drama

As if adoptee drama isnt enough, I am getting divorced. After 18 years, B and I are splitting. I am over the initial upset and moving forward. I am going to relocate to CO and focus on spending time with MY family for once. Having so many members reject me now that there is a divorce proves once again that love is almost always conditional.

Long time no post

I had a wonderful time in CO last summer. Spending time there with my ndad made me realize how much I have missed out on. Since then, I havent been very good about contact with him. He has been worried about the pullback. I have also since met my nsis. We got along great, so much in common. I'm sad about that too. I could have found them 20 years earlier if I had been able to get my adoption records. Time lost. Years lost. Memories lost.

Mothers Day

I survived another one. At church on Sunday, members got up to talk about their mothers. It was really hard. Just before the service, Brie heard what was going to go on. Her comment "Too bad both your mothers suck". How true.

Attention Texas born adoptees!

join this group:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/texansforadultadopteesobcaccess/

Well you are used to it...

rejection that is.

I helped boss lady find the contact info for her best friend from elementary school through middle school. She is scared to call because she is scared of the friend not wanting contact. Bosslady "Well I am scared to call. I'm not like you. You're used to it". As soon as she said it she felt bad. Of course so did I because its so true.

New years Resolution

Since "everyone" knows about me and dont care to have contact, all gloves are off. I am going to contact every single family member (many of whom I have contact info for over four years) that I cand find. Plus no more vague posting online at ancestry and other genie sites.

its over

yes its over. It never really was much of a relationship with my nmother. I hadnt heard from her in over 18 months. She called today. Partially because my daughter had called her (I knew about it, daughter fessed up) and she said she didnt want any of my kids to call her. She also said she finally told "her daughter" about me and her daughter doesnt want contact. She also fessed up to her siblings (a few knew but didnt talk to her about me) and they all dont want contact either. Our long conversation was a goodbye. Nmother has brain tumors and she told me her sister will let me know when she dies.