Saturday, February 5, 2011
The first time ever I saw your face.....
Seeing a bfam members face for the first time is huge. Its a defining moment very few can understand. After over six years of searching and being careful, I found a pic posted last year of my nfather's nfather. I was amazed. The resemblance is stunning. I emailed the pic right off to ndad and his wife. He was already crashed but she was so excited. He saw the pic this morning. It made his ndad a real person. I dont know if it sunk in yet or not. I'm excited for him and me. Another puzzle piece in place.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Update
Wow. I cant believe how long its been since I posted. I have left and moved with C to Denver. We are now living near my ndad. Divorce still isnt final (B's idiot lawyer didnt file paperwork til Dec., we had signed in Oct). I am FREE. I am also where I should be and where I should have always been. I havent seen much of any of my nfam (n-uncle wouldnt even say hello) yet. I am busy job hunting etc. Once I get that part of my life settled, I will reach out to more family.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Tired
I am getting very tired of the drama. B is dragging his heels and really thinks that this is not an issue for our youngest daughter C. C and I moved out due to the doings of his lawyer and mother. It is such a huge relief to be out. I dont know how long we can afford to stay here. D, my friend and B's cousin, has offered to let us stay with her. I just want to leave and be fair. The older kids are texting me at least. I have signed up for some parenting classes to help me with all this stress. But hey, I am losing weight....
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Family Drama
As if adoptee drama isnt enough, I am getting divorced. After 18 years, B and I are splitting. I am over the initial upset and moving forward. I am going to relocate to CO and focus on spending time with MY family for once. Having so many members reject me now that there is a divorce proves once again that love is almost always conditional.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Long time no post
I had a wonderful time in CO last summer. Spending time there with my ndad made me realize how much I have missed out on. Since then, I havent been very good about contact with him. He has been worried about the pullback. I have also since met my nsis. We got along great, so much in common. I'm sad about that too. I could have found them 20 years earlier if I had been able to get my adoption records. Time lost. Years lost. Memories lost.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Mothers Day
I survived another one. At church on Sunday, members got up to talk about their mothers. It was really hard. Just before the service, Brie heard what was going to go on. Her comment "Too bad both your mothers suck". How true.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
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