Friday, August 22, 2008
Liar liar pants on fire!
Yeah not very adult of me but thats how I am feeling. I try really really hard to have sympathy for birthmothers (I am using that term deliberately). I just helped an adoptee search. The bmother lied and lied some more about her info. X gave a fake name, made up story about being single and in college (ahem she was married) and I am sure we will uncover more lies. Z (the adoptee) hasnt spoken directly with X. X's hubby put Z on speaker phone and was quite nasty with Z. Unlike so many of us adoptees (people pleasers) Z didnt put up with his crap. I doubt we will have a "happy" reunion here with bmom but thats not the point. The bright note is that the bfather was thrilled to be found. He had been searching for Z for many years. We are very lucky that X couldnt hide from the truth. Lies always come back to bite you in the ass.
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Mary not all birthmothers are like that.
Its awful when we discover lies about us when we become adults, it stings, I know i Have been through it. But there are many women who gave birth and had to relinquish their child.
I do have sympathy for all birthmothers, even the ones who willingly give away their babies. I can not despise them or it becomes a terrible path to follow. Because it eats away at you about your own mother that gave you away/was forced to give you away..either way it eats you alive - ive seen other adoptees filled with so much hate and it only harms them.
So try not to go that path....
She is probably in a state of shock at being found. She may yet come around. IF she doesn't it will be her loss.
But the dad wants contact which is wonderful.
He would have had to sign the consent form too though, i wonder as they were married why they gave the baby up
Tell your friend to be strong...I know the lies hurt...
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