Missed another post....

I work in insurance. My boss has had some clients since she started out 25 plus years ago. The job is about relationships and knowing enough about people to help them. A is stage four cancer survivor. He visits or calls a bit. Yesterday he came by (he's an older man, in his 60s, and a dapper dresser). He had come from a co-workers daughter's funeral. Girl was 22 years old, drug overdose. He said she always seemed happy. He then mentioned his coworker and her husband "took in" her sister's daughter and raised her as "their own". Bio mom was a druggie and prostitute and chose not to be in her daughter's life. Then A adds "maybe knowing her mother was around and didn't want to see her caused this. Maybe she couldn't get over it, not having that tie". He actually understood that the "primal wound" could cut so deep. The bio mom showed up briefly at the funeral. I told A I was adopted and understood.

Election Eve

So many candidates want to deny access to abortion and birth control. The lack of safe abortion or birth control is what led to many of us being born and adopted out. The anti abortion/ pro adoption movement go hand in hand. I want my daughters to have the same rights I have had. People cringe when they hear adoptees say they would have rather been aborted because of the pain adoption has caused. Whether or not you would choose an abortion, don't deny that right from another woman. Adoption in many ways is a crime against women committed by women. Keep options, real options and choices available.

Oops... didn't post on Saturday

Not a very successful start to NaBloPoMo. I am enjoying my first "real" weekend in my new place (boyfriend's place). No kids to worry about (ignored Ed and his pleas to use my car). Got one call from B. No demands on me though. It is an odd feeling. The kids would sometimes go (or have lived with their grandparents). Caitlin has been to visit before we moved, but never for more than a few weeks. Her visit in the summer was six weeks and the longest we had been apart. I still had B here though (and Ed). Today, no calls or texts until late afternoon. Guess who needs the spare key to his place, fine I put it under the mat. They who calls (over ten times) and texts he NEEDS my car and HAS TO HAVE IT. I should take the bus in the morning, not him taking it to get around. His friends have a car he could have borrowed to get the key but NO. He has lied and told them the car was HIS. SO after a long conversation (argument), I stood fast. I am glad CD is sleeping and not having to endure this drama.

Grief

My amother passed away in 2005, the same week as my evil grandmother. C's mother passed away recently and I went with him to her services. There were none for my amother. She had no friends, I had cut ties with her, abro took care of her out of duty, and asis didn't want to be the only one there. There were no services for my afather either. Not even the usual military burial. The night before the services (and after the viewing) we went to C's parents' home. Several siblings and spouses and kids were there. We spent time looking through pictures and I enjoyed listening to the banter and stories. I am the "newbie" so it was fun putting faces and names together. The evening also reinforced how fractured my afamily is. Usually families unite when there is a death, especially the death of a parent. The last time the three of us was together was around 1980. My amother destroyed most pictures (especially those of me) when my aps got divorced. There will never be a time for the three of us to sit around and reminice. This got me to thinking about my ndad's funeral (morbid). He is still estranged from Paul and has tried again to reach out to him. Sherri (his adopted stepdaughter) and he have mended things. Sherri is now staying with him. There is still no contact with his two kids from the first marriage. So what will happen? I know Paul would show up, but will not want me there. Afterwards, when he and Sherri look at pictures and tell stories, I will be left out. Once again on the outside looking in.

NaBloPoMo trying it again

In addition to it being National Blog Post Month, November is Adoption Awareness month. The baby sellers are in full force to promote adoption and family separation. Ugh! Yet more changes have occured in my life. Ed has probation and both girls have moved back to Hawaii. I have moved in with my boyfriend/fiance C. I haven't lived with anyone other than the kids for two years and this is a big transition for both of us. He is neat and organized and I'm....not. Things are strained with ndad and his wife. M has shown her bad side and ndad is stuck in the middle. My sister S (ndad's adopted step daughter) is staying with them. Her marriage fell apart and she worked for her soon to be ex. So here I am the "real" kid being pushed aside/ignored for her. Support has been lacking from ndad. Lots of changes. Again.

A year has past

Things have really been good. My job is good, in July B moved here and in Dec. Ed came. Lots of stress (med, dating). I look back on my blog and cannot believe how my life has changed. Ndad signed my card "dad"

Holidays

had my bday and Christmas. My ndad signed the cards Dad, first time ever. lots of stuff going on ... adoption keeps on going.