its over

yes its over. It never really was much of a relationship with my nmother. I hadnt heard from her in over 18 months. She called today. Partially because my daughter had called her (I knew about it, daughter fessed up) and she said she didnt want any of my kids to call her. She also said she finally told "her daughter" about me and her daughter doesnt want contact. She also fessed up to her siblings (a few knew but didnt talk to her about me) and they all dont want contact either. Our long conversation was a goodbye. Nmother has brain tumors and she told me her sister will let me know when she dies.

Liar liar pants on fire!

Yeah not very adult of me but thats how I am feeling. I try really really hard to have sympathy for birthmothers (I am using that term deliberately). I just helped an adoptee search. The bmother lied and lied some more about her info. X gave a fake name, made up story about being single and in college (ahem she was married) and I am sure we will uncover more lies. Z (the adoptee) hasnt spoken directly with X. X's hubby put Z on speaker phone and was quite nasty with Z. Unlike so many of us adoptees (people pleasers) Z didnt put up with his crap. I doubt we will have a "happy" reunion here with bmom but thats not the point. The bright note is that the bfather was thrilled to be found. He had been searching for Z for many years. We are very lucky that X couldnt hide from the truth. Lies always come back to bite you in the ass.

Happy news for a change

A positive development.... I had left a message at my half-bro's myspace account a few weeks ago. I followed up with my email addy when he didnt respond. He forwarded it to K his full (and my half sis). Their father is also my father. She emailed me and we went crazy emailing back and forth yesterday. She and N had a very painful childhood. Ndad basically abandoned them and their mother. He left to go to the store and never came back. I pretty much knew this. He finally got sober and off drugs about ten years ago. He attempted to make amends but of course was rebuffed. Its very bittersweet now connecting with K knowing how badly ndad's actions hurt her and N and their mother. I dont have the painful history and past with ndad and we have been able to forge a relationship. When I visited him I was tempted to contact my half sibs but fear of upsetting ndad and fear of rejection by them held me back. Hopefully, K and I will continue to learn more about each other and someday meet. We have a lot in common and we are both willing to let what happened to K and N regarding ndad not affect our relationship. She has some of the abandonment issues many adoptees have. I think she and I are off to a positive start.

Slipping into sadness

Today was good. I helped an adoptee search and he had his first phone call with his nmother. I am very happy for him. She wondered over the years about him but would have never searched. It drives the point home to me though. My nmother wishes to go back believing I am dead. Its easier she told me.

Happy ? Anniversary

Its my "reunion" anniversary. Sad. It sucks I havent heard from my mother in over a year. Then I feel guilty. At least I know who and where my mother is. Is it cocktail hour yet?

Anniversary time

THAT day is fact approaching. June 12. The first time I spoke to my mother. Now its been nearly four years. Over a year since I heard from her. I wonder, will she remember the day she found out I was alive? What will she be thinking about me if she does? Father's Day is around the corner too. June 25 is also coming up. My ndad's bday, the day he got my contact letter. June 26, the day I got my first email from ndad. I still laugh about the fact I was so excited I didnt notice he had attached pics to the email. Sad and happy days.

Update!

Help spread the word!

For more information, please visit http://www.adopteerights.netHello everyone!July 22nd is fast approaching! Here is the update for the Adoptee Rights Day demonstration in New Orleans. We will be posting frequent updates so folks will be in the loop with schedules and what the plan of action is for the next two months, and while in New Orleans attending the demonstration and Exhibitors Booth.New Orleans demonstration updates:The permit for Lafayette Square has been paid for and is in our possession.The demonstration and march will be held Tuesday July 22nd beginning at 9:00 am (more details soon).The Exhibitors Booth has been paid for and the Adoptee Rights Committee will be in booth #246 on the Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday following the demonstration.We have received over $3000 in donations! Thanks to everyone for supporting ARD. Our goal for a full page ad in the print version of the New Orleans Times-Picayune listing adult adoptees and their friends and family who support adoptee rights is still in progress, if you haven’t done so already add your name to the list!A writing campaign to Legislators starts on Friday June 6th (information and instructions will be available on the evening of the 5th).We are asking for volunteers to assist the organizers while at the event, if you can help us out in New Orleans please let us know.If you haven’t done so already hop on over to our mailing list where you can get immediate updates about our Writing Campaign starting tomorrow Friday June 6th, as well as interaction with all of the other protesters and supporters of Open Records and the Demonstration.***We regret to inform people that Bastard Nation is no longer one of the Adoptee Rights Day sponsors. We wish them well and thank them for their efforts thus far. **The days are counting down and the time is near, so much work is coming together and it couldn’t have been possible without you. Thank you.For any questions about the demonstration, please contact admin@adopteerights.net