Face to Face

March 2005. Time for the face to face. My MIL is wanting to have a huge welcoming party at the airport. The pressure from her is hard and comes through in my email. Bdad decides the first couple days should be at a hotel. We arrange to meet at a restaurant near his hotel. I am so flustered, I get lost. I finally get there and we meet. Its so weird looking at someone who looks like me. After a bit, we decide to head to the beach house where the kids and inlaws are waiting. When we get there, my middle dd age 9 just stares. We head up to the house and talk some more and head out to dinner. We have a great time. He tells me more about his not so perfect past and that he is out of remission for prostate cancer. I get introduced as his daughter to people for the first time.
Time goes by. Less calls from bmom, regular contact with bdad and aunt L.
Plans are made to visit him in CO. I cant afford airfare for everyone, so my youngest (almost 4) and I fly standby to CO.
What a great time! I meet M, bdad's wife (a wonderful woman). My half brother and his wife and new baby. Its just a wonderful time. No weirdness. M and I head to the library. We find HS pics of bmom and all but one of her siblings. Finally I see what she looks like!
Time has gone on... bdad is hoping to come out this winter. He has had more health woes and business has been hard.
Would I search again? YES. Was it a perfect experience? NO. There were and are very painful times. Do I think adoption is great? NO. The adoption industry needs to be reformed.
Intro over.