I'm Cranky and Pissed

First of all, my dds gave me a cold. I dont handle cold medicine well so I am groggy. My inlaws are coming today, the house is a wreck (well thats normal...lol) and I was supposed to help with the food prep for the funeral. ARG.
I got to rehash my lovely how I got to be adopted story with dh cousin. She was, like everyone else shocked.
Why and I pissed???? Well the asshole doctor, ministers (they helped fine my insane apes), lawyer and evil grandma are all dead. I did some research on Dr Joe, turns out his brother ws a family court lawyer across the border in NM. Can you say racket? I cant prove anything because the medical records were destroyed after ten years (pricks). The lawyer made everything legal on paper. Nmom would love to see the papers she "signed" she is pretty sure her mother signed them or she was so doped up she didnt know what she was doing. One of the asshole ministers was even my godfather and good buddy of Dr Joes. He was there everytime my nmom had an appt. I almost forgot the evil nurse in the docs office who would call amom after every appt with an update. She is still alive. I would LOVE to confront her, she is elderly and I am not quite that mean (just knowing where she is helps). My abro was best buddies with her son and he is the only one abro stayed in contact with when we left TX for AZ. Abro now knows what happened and I havent heard from him since. He remarried and his life is all about his wife. He is 12 years older so we werent close, but asis is still hurt by his actions or lack thereof. Nmom had two calls with her mother. One where she told Evil Grandma she knew the truth (yeah deserved it for being a whore, BITCH) and the last call right before Evil Grandma died where Evil woman asked for forgiveness. Nmom said she said she forgave her but didnt mean it. She didnt want to be mean to a woman on her death bed. Just like my last call with psycho amom. I am probably repeating myself but blame the damn cold medicine. I can now get my OBC from Texas since I know both nparents names, but ndad wont be on it. During that era, unless the nmom was married, the father was left off. Less paperwork. I want my relinquishment papers. The judge in EL Paso is a no open records guy. I guess if I was dieing it would be okay with him. Cant wait til he bites it. I so wish I could "out" Dr Joe for being a baby seller but hey, in the community he is/was a saint. I only know his name because my afather's mother wrote it in my baby book. Nmom was very hard to understand when she said his last name. I have found several ancestors who qualify me for DAR (Daughters of the American Revolution) but cant join cause I am a bastard. Wonder if they accept DNA....lol Pardon the spelling errors and rant but Saturday is the cousin's funeral and it will be hard on everyone. Not to mention my friggin cold. BLAH