What is Rejection???

Business is slow, so I have been wallowing in somewhat deep thoughts. What is rejection? Am I rejected since my nmother cant/wont tell anyone about me. I have sporadic phone calls from her, so I guess I am not totally rejected. Is being ignored (as in never responding to emails) rejection? I feel rejected. I know other adoptees and a few nmothers who had total outright harsh rejection. I guess there are varying levels of rejection. My middle dd B who is 11 feels rejected by my nmom. She makes comments about how her grandmother doesnt want to know her, and she has cousins she will never know. Thats the hardest part. B even asked if S was happy I was alive, I didnt tell her about THAT conversation with S. I searched to answer questions knowing I could be hurt/rejected. I didnt expect my kids to feel that way. Ed doesnt say much about S, he's happy about my ndad wanting and being a grandfather to them. Every now and then he will ask about if I have heard from S. It makes him more angry than sad (a guy thing maybe?). When he sees me working on the family tree, he says I shouldnt bother since we will never get to know S side. Then I wonder about C, she's six now, so pretty much she has lived through and with my search and reunion. As she gets older, will she be like her sister and feel rejected? Or is she going to accept things as its just the way it is. Hindsight, as they say, is 20/20. If S had told me in the first call, that there was no way she could or would tell anyone about me, I would have not been so excited and pass the excitement onto my kids. A few of you know what I mean. First contact (when its positive of course) is a total high. I was floating for two days. Then I got worried as I didnt get an email or a call. It still gets me depressed when I think about the huge extended family I am missing out on (hey they are missing out too). When my ndad was here he referred to S as my mother, after a bit he realized that I refer to her as S. So he picked up on that and started calling her by name. I guess calling her S is a way to protect myself.